I recently discovered an achingly beautiful series on YouTube called ‘Letters To July’ on Emily Diana Ruth’s channel. It is without a doubt one of the most stunning and intriguing series I have come across online. I couldn’t fault it at all. The videos are so honest, so fresh and so real. I would highly recommend you check out the series over on Emily’s channel https://www.youtube.com/user/emilieofnewgloom
Thanks to Emily’s enchanting series I have been inspired to write my very own letter to July. July was a month that I was anxious about. I didn’t know what to expect or how I’d feel throughout this month. I believe every month is a fresh start. July was another new chapter. And one I surprisingly enjoyed and adored. So here’s my letter to you, July.
I was nervous about meeting you this year, part of me hoped we wouldn’t meet again.When we last met I was the happiest I’d ever been. I was hopelessly in love and felt like life couldn’t possibly get any better. However, since then a lot has happened and a lot has changed. Sometimes life isn’t particularly kind to us. I discovered that the hard way this year, July. From heartache to illness to deaths to family fall outs.When life turns bad it’s hard to remember the good times and it’s extremely hard to look forward and feel excited about the future. In the middle of the Spring I remember turning to a friend and telling her about how much I was dreading this summer. I was terrified about meeting you again. I spent an unfortunate amount of time feeling broken and lost this year. There were days where I was angry for waking up.I was angry about being alive. I was so close to breaking point, July. I lost who I was and part of me lost the will to live. I never thought that feeling would go away. I expected to meet you with tears rolling down my cheeks and a broken heart. I didn’t think I was capable of moving forward, not without the person who once held a special place in my heart the last time we met, July.
However, when we met I was happy, genuinely happy again. The dark clouds had faded and were replaced by sunshine and calm blue skies. My head was no longer clouded with dull thoughts. I didn’t dread meeting you like I did back in the Spring. I was excited. I couldn’t wait for a new month, a new chapter. July, you’ve been the best chapter yet. A chapter full of smiles, full of laughter, full of warmth, full of new music, new people, new hobbies and new places. A chapter spent with some of the most beautiful and important people in my life. A chapter full of bright, blue skies. A chapter full of moments I will treasure forever. A chapter where I became me again, an even better me. A chapter where I got back on my path. A chapter where my life got better.
I’m glad I didn’t give up on you, July. It was a privilege. I’ll see you again next year.