All Grown Up

snapchats from the past (2004)
Tomorrow morning I have an appointment at the hospital to get some blood tests done. I rarely ever have to visit the doctor/dentist/hospital, but there’s something different about tomorrows visit… My mam isn’t going with me. I know, I know, I’m 21 in a few weeks, but ever since I was tiny my mam was always by my side if I ever had to visit the doctors. It’s not that I’m worried or scared about going by myself, it just feels odd. It’s one of those little things in a young adults life where that sudden realisation hits you like a tonne of bricks and confirms that you are now a proper grown up. When I think of a grown up I picture a middle aged business man wearing a three piece suit, coffee in one hand, leather briefcase in the other. I do not think of my frizzy haired self, who wears Snoopy pjs and listens to S Club 7’s Greatest Hits at 11pm for fun- there ain’t no party like an S Club party.. right guys? right? 
another year, another cousin group shot (2009)
Eight year old Kat had some crazy dreams. By now she believed that I was going to be married, driving my own car, working as a primary school teacher and living in my own house.. at the age of 20.. young Kat clearly had some very high hopes. I can barely afford bus fare to town, let alone a mortgage. I like looking back on all the wacky ideas I had of adult life when I was younger. These days I struggle to pick something to watch on Netflix, so the thought of searching for a house terrifies me. I spent half an hour debating whether I should watch Aladdin or Juno this evening, so the thought of house hunting strikes the fear of god into my indecisive self. Growing up is a strange thing. One minute you’re strolling home from school with a chocolate doughnut in your hand and then in the blink of an eye you’re sitting in the bank setting up a direct debit account.  
group shots still going strong (2013)
Little things like going to the doctor without my parents or going on my own holidays really make me realise that I am growing up. I’m not that chubby eight year old that religiously watched Tracy Beaker after school every day. I am now a 20 year old journalism student (who may or may not have fangirled over the fact that ‘The Story of Tracy Beaker’ was added to Netflix) that dreams of travelling the world and owning my own record player.  I believe that we will always have part of our old selves with us. That 45 year old man you see rushing through the city in the expensive three piece suit, probably keeps an old Pokemon card in his wallet, tucked neatly behind his business and credit cards. My Dad still proudly dances around the kitchen to the Sex Pistols, just like he used to do during his punk rock days. My friend still uses novelty kids plasters for cuts, just like the Barbie and Action Man ones we had to cover up our grazed knees when we were younger. I’ll still sing along to S Club 7 when I’m 90 years old and shuffling around with my zimmer frame.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”- e.e cummings
Sincerely Yours,

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